(4) YEARS WITH OUT YOU
Four years ago today my world came to a screeching hault with words so painful that I can not describe. I could not then and I can not now begin to comprehend how time can continue to move forward without the life of my beautiful son. He was life there was such a power that seemed to surround him. His presence warmed me from the inside out. His smile his eyes the sweetness of his heart the silly sounds of his laughter are just a few of the things that I miss so badly. I thank "God" every day for the blessing of his life and for choosing me to be his mother. Yesterday while traveling to and from work I counted over 12 of those extremely tiny little BMW Z3's and each one I saw was like being shot over and over until the pain was over whelming. By the time I made it to the cemetery I was actually sick. I got down on my knees and I begged my son to forgive me that I did not call his dad (or at least that's what he called him too bad he didn't act as if he were a real dad) and demand he come and remove that freaking piece of shit nothing of a car that while at the funeral home having to pick out a casket for my son said would take a curve running 130 mph. Who in there right mind call them self a dad and then puts their child their (19) year old son in a car that runs that fast let a lone a car that goes that fast and is that small and weights that little with nothing but cloth to cover his precious head. Matthew airborned that car so high that he took out the top of trees my baby never had a chance his fate was sealed the moment he was given those keys. There is a hole inside my heart one that will never heal and though I have come to terms with what is left of my life I will never get over that my son did not have to die.... Matthew I love you so much not a minute goes by that I do not think of you. Your "FAMILY" HANNAH & SCOTT miss you more with each passing day.
Don't be scared
I know actually where you are!
There is a piece of me and it burns inside your heart!
"NOT EVEN DEATH COULD TEAR US APART!
I love you Matthew Mullis!