2 years without you.
My 2nd year with out you.
I am sickened by my grief. I am sickened by what I can not see. Torn down by pain and ripped apart by what I can not explain. I do not know who I am or where this will all end. I only know that my son is gone and that I will never see him again.
I miss his smile and his laughter. I miss the purpose of being his mother. I feel so all alone in a world for which I no longer belong. No one can understand unless they too have lost a child the ever growing emptiness inside my wounded heart. I no longer feel the same way as I use to feel. Life has beaten down me and taken what I so needed to live.
How will I ever go on, how will I ever get use to a life that I never wanted to live. Surrounded by silence it echo’s through me like a cold sharp wind sent to remind me that what once was will never be again.
I yearn so deeply for the boy I have lost. The mysteries of his life are now but scattered pieces tossed around and sifted through by the hands of others. What once was so sacred can no longer be found. Even the sweetness of his scent has faded with time. Unsure of tomorrow I live only for today, lost in time captured by pain. The only thing I’m sure of is that life will never be same…… Close